Posts Tagged ‘WAHM’

When I started this blog I said that it would basically be a business blog for WAHM’s.  As a work at home mom there are many things that have affected my business over the years.  One of them was when I was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago.  My business was just starting to take off.  It was very devastating. 

I was blessed at that time with clients that had also been affected by cancer in one way or another.  They were very patient with me.  But, today I’d like to dedicate this blog post today to the people who are experiencing breast cancer.  I have some tips that might help with the process.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month is usually devoted to teaching women the importance in early detection of breast cancer. But what about the women who are going through breast cancer treatment? This article is for them.Either having a family member who has been diagnosed or knowing a friend with it, many of us have been affected by breast cancer. I was affected personally. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 days after my 35th birthday. I had three young children ages 9, 6 and 3. My husband and I were devastated. We were both so afraid he was going to have to raise the children on his own.

Slowly, we started realizing we were going to make it through this challenge. We had many doctors, nurses and friends who supported and taught us. Many people refer to going through breast cancer as a “journey.” Below are tips I learned during my journey that I hope will help other breast cancer patients.

Replace Fear with Knowledge
As soon as my husband and I got over the shock of the diagnosis, we started reading. I learned a lot about the type of breast cancer I had and the best ways to treat it. I also learned what chemotherapy and radiation would be like. Ask your doctor what books he would suggest. Only read credible information. If you are an internet guru, don’t believe everything you find on the internet. Only go to reliable sites. Here is one that I found very useful: http://www.breastcancer.org/. Read all that you can so you know what will be happening to you. This knowledge will help replace your fear.

Get a Pedicure
If you are having a mastectomy, get a pedicure before you go in for your surgery. Pay the bit extra and get a fun design put on your big toe–something feminine. The day before my bilateral mastectomy I got a pedicure. After my surgery, having my toenails done helped me to feel feminine. When you lose such a big part of your femininity in surgery, it’s nice to have something on you that is unique to being a woman. You can’t have nail polish on your fingernails when you have surgery, but you can on your toes.

Say Yes
If someone wants to bring you dinner while you are having chemotherapy, say yes. If someone offers to go grocery shopping, do your laundry, clean your house or watch your children, say YES! Going through chemotherapy or radiation drains the energy from your body. I learned that you have to let other people take over the daily chores so that your body can heal. Whenever someone offers to do something for you, take them up on it. Later when you are done healing, you can pay it back by helping someone else in need.

Find a Support Group
A support group can be found in many ways. If you have a cancer resource center in your treatment facility, they will have a list of support groups you can join. Those support groups meet once or twice a month. There are also online support groups. Here is an example of one NetworkofStrength.org.. I found my support group at my chemotherapy sessions. I was able to make friends that came on the same day as I did. We talked about our cancer, our families, our fears, our hopes and much more. Some patients are willing to talk about their cancer and some are not. I found it to be a healing process for me to talk to other people that knew exactly what I was going through. My husband also found support through the other spouses at chemotherapy.

Only Talk When You Feel Like Talking
Only talk about your cancer when you feel like talking about it. Some days you may feel that talking about it is what you need. Other days you may just want to try and live a normal life without being “the woman with breast cancer.” Dr. Linda Miles, a nationally recognized marriage and family therapist, recently wrote an article for Amoena Life Magazine on breast cancer entitled Tell the Truth with Love. Dr. Miles says, “Many times friends have no idea of what to say to a woman with breast cancer. [One breast cancer patient] learned how to help good friends refrain from the lame by bringing up her condition in an honest and straight-forward way when she needed to talk and let them know when she did not feel like discussing cancer. She simply told them, ‘I appreciate your concern but it would not help me to talk about it right now.’ She then took the initiative to change the topic to avoid an awkward silence.”

Be Optimistic
It is hard to tell someone who is going through cancer to be optimistic. Your life has changed profoundly due to the diagnosis of cancer. However, I found that I needed to be as positive as possible in order to heal. There were days during chemotherapy where I had to crawl on the floor to get to the bathroom. Then the next time I woke up, I was able to walk to the bathroom. I found this as a positive thing. Sometimes keeping down food is positive, or being able to read a book to your child is a positive act. Surround yourself with positive people. You may find, as I did, you have to rid yourself of your negative friends for a while.

It’s Ok to Have a Bad Day
No matter how positive you are, there will be bad days and that’s ok. You need a day where you can cry–crying promotes healing as well. Going through chemotherapy and radiation is hard, and it’s ok to admit that. A wise nurse (who was also a breast cancer survivor) told me to give myself a time of the day where I could cry and just feel bad. Then she said, “After you have your cry and acknowledgment of what you’re dealing with, then put on your big girl panties and go on with your life.” In the same article for Amoena Life Magazine, Dr. Linda Milesgives an example of how your family can help when you have a bad day. “[One] family developed a Best-Bad-Day Tradition. [The father] started this when [mom] was having some bad days during chemo. He helped the children do special things for [mom] on those days. One child made placemats and another one decorated a card. They maintain this tradition to support one another through bad days. It is a powerful model for children to learn compassion and altruism.”

I hope this blog post has helped those that are going through cancer and their families.  If you have any other tips, please post them!  Also, if you’d like to share your journey with breast cancer (either as a participant or family member) I would love to hear it!

I’m just starting my blog for the first time!  I’m looking forward to gaining and imparting knowledge.

I’m a wife, a mother of three, and a WAHM virtual assistant.  I can definitely multi-task!  I hope to make my blog a place where I can share information as a work at home business woman and a mom.

What do you think makes a good blog?  Any advice is welcome and needed